Recently, my family and I have gone through two very unexpected deaths. Before then, coincidently, The Lord had been healing me of previous deaths I’ve never had closure with. For the former deaths I’ve gone through since a kid, The Lord had been helping me by giving me a new light, perspective and changing my mindset on how I view and process death. Having an better understanding of the Word has brought clarity, comfort and the beginning of my healing. But, these last few deaths had put my newly found knowledge and theories to the test and it’s where my faith Had to meet my heart break head on.
As Christians, we all know that if we believe in Jesus and surrender our life to Him, we’ll be with Him eternally. We know about the last days when He’ll return, the dead will rise first and those still alive will be caught up with them to meet the Lord in the air. We know heaven is blissful, no more hurt, pain…We also know they are with The Lord and just Knowing some of those basic truths has brought so much comfort. But, in the same breath, death straight up hurts and takes your breath away even knowing the truth.
I can tell you for me what hurts the most:
1) The agony of being separated from my beloved…even temporarily. I feel like everything in me is ripped apart and crushed by a tractor trailer. Plain and simple, It feels like it kills you, apart of you at least, to HAVE to let them go…even knowing where they are going!!!!! Actually, this feeling is unbearable…the actual separation anxiety is unfathomable.
2) Being forced to let go and releasing to Jesus the things I don’t understand…why…could of…should of…would of…etc. Naturally, depending on how they die, you got questions and sometimes, Angry. Sometimes, you’re traumatised by the shock of them being gone suddenly and angry about it in a state of panic and disbelief. No matter if It happens fast or slow, it’s all so surreal!
3) The funeral! Seeing my beloved dead, no longer alive in spirit…actually seeing your loved one dead is HORRIBLE!!!! You just don’t want to see them like that, lifeless, everything you’ve come to love, lifeless, Aaaarrgghh!!! I hate it and if I could, protest funerals! I’m all for memorials and definitely for celebrating life, but since having a little one and how I watched her sit up front, as families typically due, and just stare at a dead body for hours during the funeral, didn’t realize how traumatic that is…that’s just horrible and too much for anyone. Even in devastation, when we know Jesus, there has to be a better way to mourn than what we’ve done traditionally.
Having had God heal me tremendously with re-learning and re-conditioning my heart on how I process death, I’ve seen for the first time that our culture and how we have always mourned is sad…the slow organ music, looking at your beloved’s dead body for like two hours and having the family sit in the front to get a birds eye view…the sad hymns…everyone dressed in black…etc etc etc.
But one day as I was shopping and my heart was heavy, the Lord reminded me of this scripture,
1 Thes. 4:13 “My friends, we want you to understand how it will be for those followers who have already died. Then you won’t grieve over them and be like people who don’t have any hope.”
It was then that I needed to remember, “shift your focus!” If I focus on all the negative and heartache that death brings out, I will stay in sadness and despair. I remembered that in my grief, go to Christ for comfort, but don’t look to my reasoning and what I’m seeing to dictate what I know, but focus on God’s truth…the good memories…their legacy…and, find things that bring me joy in keeping their memory alive.
Having to teach my daughter about death at 8, it made me realize that I have to give her God’s perspective on death. I shared with her this scripture and her faced beamed…
| 1 Thessalonians 4:14-17 New King James Version (NKJV)14 For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who [a]sleep in Jesus.15 For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord will by no means precede those who are [b]asleep. 16 For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. 17 Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord forever!” |
After she heard this, she said with great jubilation “WOOOWW!!!!HOW EXCITING!!!”
She got what The Lord desires to teach us…Death is not the end…It’s just the beginning…A GLORIOUS BEGINNING!!!
It’s here…at this place where the Lord desire we keep our eyes…for the heartache and void we wrestle with, allow God in quiet prayer time to comfort you…be deliberate…allow Him in private and quiet to love on you and just receive.
He is faithful to heal and get us through it.
Continue to join me as I share with you what Christ is sharing with me about overcoming. As always, Be Encouraged, Stay Connected, Fight and Let’s Become Free Together.
From my heart to yours!
Ke’Shawn Adamson
B.O.O.M!
Check out this AWESOME clip of Jonathan Evans Eulogizing his mother…take notes!
